This morning I got up to say good morning to my dog Renzo like I always do, when I noticed something was wrong. He had trouble breathing, didn't want to eat or drink anything, and he could hardly walk. I somehow managed to feed him his epilepsy medication, and that's when I saw his gums were all pale. I know from experience that pale gums are often seen when people have anemia, so I got a bit worried and immediately called the vet.
He really seemed very sick, which was strange, because he was fine yesterday. We played and ran together last night before we went to sleep, and he seemed to be very happy and healthy, and he didn't appear to be in pain or anything.
So after the vet examined him and took a few X-rays, he came back to tell me that Renzo's spleen had ruptured, probably when we were sleeping, and his tummy had slowly filled itself with blood. They couldn't really do anything besides doing an operation that removes the blood from his belly, and giving him a blood transfusion, but it wouldn't solve the problem; it would only slow it down. I asked the vet if there was a chance Renzo would get better if I chose the operation, but they told me the operation would only give me a bit more time with him, but he'd be in a lot of pain, and he definitely wouldn't get better.
So it was up to me to decide for my dog's life, which was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. Renzo really helped and supported me when my older brother died 8 and half years ago, so making him suffer would be a very ungrateful and cruel thing to do, which is why I decided to put him to sleep.
It's a few hours later now, but my hands are still shaking, and I still have tears in my eyes. I am so upset about losing such an important part of my life, and I can't really believe he's dead :( But even though my heart is broken, I know it was the right decision, and that he's in a better place now.